We all experience problems from time to time but the way in which we respond to our troubles can vary greatly. Take the example of two people each of whom has a car breakdown just as they are leaving to go to work. The first person’s whole day is ruined complaining about their bad luck for hours, spreading blame wherever they can and doing very little at work. The other person however, treats the car breakdown as just one of those things and arranges to get it repaired and quickly moves on, proceeding to have an enjoyable, satisfying day.
Both encountered the exact same problem so why did one person get so upset while the other handled the situation without a second thought: the answer is they both saw the situation from a different perspective.
That perspective will develop from the way the person may feel at the time, the way they may be thinking at the time, the physical symptoms they may be having, and finally from what they doing at the time. So for the first person they may be feeling very down, they may be thinking nothing ever goes right in their life, they may have knots in their stomach and a rapid beating heart and may spend the day ruminating on how things go wrong all the time and therefore achieves very little that day in work.
For the second person things however are very different. They may feel quite positive about things, they may be thinking these things happen, they may physically feel fine and perfectly capable of arranging to take the car to a garage and then spend the rest of the day getting on with work experiencing achievement and satisfaction.
The dictionary defines perspective as “the capacity to view things in their true relation or relative importance.” We all know people who continually dwell on petty things such as the state of their neighbour’s garden or worrying about if it might rain tomorrow or if the traffic might make them late for an appointment. Some people can take drastic action like severing ties with close family members because of a dispute over the seating arrangements at a wedding.
Basically some people lose sight of the “relative importance” of things blowing their problems way out of proportion, devoting precious mental energy to situations which do not carry “life or death” consequences. Most of us will fall into this trap on occasion, but those who spend the least amount of time obsessing on trivial circumstances are likely to accomplish far more and be happier as a result.
If you can recognise any of the above in yourself then don’t despair as you will learn with your therapist how your thinking can distort the way you see the world, how that can lead to lowered mood and ‘bad’ physical feelings and result in negative self-defeating behaviour patterns. Working collaboratively the goals will be to change your behaviour so that you take positive action, this will lead to improved mood and better body sensations and will eventually lead to more positive thinking.
Contacting Belfast Counselling Group can help you bring about the changes needed to improve your mental, physical and emotional health. New clients are often convinced that their problems are insurmountable and that they cannot escape the treadmill of distress that they seem to be stuck on.
They may be unaware they could be depressed, they may not be able to sleep, they may have negative thoughts about themselves, the world and others. Often they have been involved in past traumas, accidents and/or negative life experiences all of which may be combining together to reinforce their negative thoughts and emotions resulting in them repeating negative behaviour patterns that keep those negative thoughts and beliefs going. It is this vicious circle of automatic negative thoughts that maintains their emotional distress bringing about negative physical symptoms and result in negative behaviour patterns that then reinforce their negative thoughts and beliefs.
The therapist will be using gentle probing questions to uncover and unravel the client’s life to see how and in what way their beliefs and thoughts about themselves and the world shape how they see life now, in the present, and what we can do in therapy to bring about the changes needed to get them back on track.
At the first session you can initially expect to be nervous and anxious as you will be revealing what has brought you to therapy in the first place but you will find the therapist will quickly put you at ease as you outline your difficulties and what you want from therapy. As therapists we can very quickly identify what specific condition the client has just by listening carefully as they outline their problems and difficulties. Clients can then gain initial early relief that there are reasons why they feel the way they do and that they are not going mad and they are in the right place to get the help needed.
Therapy is offered in a safe confidential place offering the opportunity to think and talk about yourself with someone who will listen without judgement and who will help you make the changes you want. The therapist understands that it can be difficult to talk about your problems and to express feelings but will work with you towards improving your wellbeing and achieving your goals.
Therapy is a two-way process and the more effort that the therapist and client put into it, the better the results are likely to be. Therapy sessions are not cosy chats and take a lot of effort and commitment and you can expect to feel awkward and nervous at first. However this will lessen even in the first session and you will feel less intimidated as time goes on.
Talking therapies require you to be completely honest with yourself and we will help you to face up to your fears. This can mean remembering and talking about distressing memories, intimate topics and private thoughts and feelings. We will agree behavioural experiments or homework, to do between sessions, such as trying out new ways of behaving or keeping a diary. Don’t skip these exercises. You’ll get better and quicker results if you complete them.
Research shows that over 28% of people in the UK have accessed or know someone who has had therapy. Therapy with a Belfast Counselling Group therapist does not involve long sessions continually going over the past. It is a here and now therapy process using the negative thoughts feelings and behaviours learned from past experiences and changing them so you can enjoy a satisfying and rewarding life.